A Recipe for Life

Let me start by saying that this has been one the most challenging weeks of our lives. We were so excited and waiting to announce that we would be expecting a baby in September only to find out last week that God has a different plan. I went in for my normal check up last Thursday February 24 (suppost to be 10 weeks 5 days) with only positive signs of a healthy pregnancy (feeling tired, nauseous, and even threw up the morning of my check up). I was so devastated to find that our little baby stopped in development with no heart beat. My world was rocked and head was spinning. If any of you have shared in a similar experience I'm sure you can relate to my emotions. What did I do to cause this? Is there something wrong with me? Why did God do this....etc????? My plan for my new family of four had ended. It was such a loss of life and love and to make things more difficult, Phillips was out of town skiing with friends in Steamboat. I had to endure this news alone. I cried more that day than probably in my life. My mom drove in from Lake Charles that evening to stay with me so that I would not be alone. I don't know what I would have done without my friends and family by my side and really don't know what I would have done without precious Isabel helping me to see the GOOD in life.....the blessing God has already bestowed....the gift and miracle of a child. My dear friends (Cori and Liz) kept me busy/walking me through the motions of my afternoon/evening until my mom arrived.

I spoke to Phillips a million times and know that this news was just as hard for him to endure especially so far away from us. He had great support from his friends who kept him busy. It was impossible for him to fly home in time for me to schedule a DNC....so I told him to stay until his normal flight on Sunday. I spent the weekend in Lake Charles with love and support from my family. And on Monday February 28 I went in for my surgery with Phillips and my mom by my side.

By Monday I had come to peace with the fact that God is in TOTAL control. I have to TRUST in our Lord. So I want to share with you the Homily to Sunday's mass. It was a beautiful depiction of how God has a recipe for each of our lives. Just like any recipe if you take an ingredient out by itself.....such as oil in a cake....it would not taste good alone....representing tragedy or hardship. But all the ingredients combined is a beautiful thing.

I am ready for God to show me His will. I have been given the grace to understand that He has a certain plan for us as a family. Until then I am just gathering up the recipe for my life.